Bioshock Infinite Review


Irrational Games has done it again. Bioshock Infinite is fucking fantastic. There I said it. No suspense, no bullshit. If you enjoy first person shooters, hell, if you enjoy gaming, go grab this game now. Right now asshole! Hurry up!

Now that, that is out of the way, let’s get down to why Bioshock Infinite is so good. Reason Number One: Do you remember the first time you arrived in Rapture while playing the original Bioshock? No I mean do you really remember taking that pod down and getting your first look at that beautiful underwater metropolis? For me, that hooked me into that game in the first five minutes. Guess what? Those fuckers at Irrational knew the whole time that I’m a whore for a scenic fly by and did the same thing all over again, but this time I got to fall in love with a little lady named Columbia. The point of this rant is that no one does art direction like Irrational and I mean nobody…well… Arkane did a pretty good job with Dishonored….now that I think about it Dishonored and Infinite do have a lot of similarities… fuck it, we’ll come back to that. The point is that Irrational has a knack for creating insanely beautiful worlds, but can also deliver the experience to make you believe that they can exist.

Alright bitches, Reason Number Two: Bioshock Infinite has one of the most complex, emotional, and original story lines that I have seen in a game in quite some time. The problem with writing reviews and talking about the story line is that sometimes you get drawn into just drawing out an outline of the plot. I hate that shit. So very quickly, you are Booker, you go to Colombia to get a girl to repay a debt. There, Sixteen words. Done. The story evolves from there, and you’ll just have to take my word for it, the motherfucker EVOLVES. Do you remember that crazy twist at the end of the original Bioshock? Fucking child’s play. Get your pop corn ready.

Finally, Reason Number Three: Infinite plays like a champ. Granted, this is most defiantly the in the third spot for a reason, if I did have any complaints about the game it would be here. The funny thing is, is that the things I didn’t like about the game were so minuscule compared to the thing I liked about the game. The game plays, and looks I should add, VERY similar to Dishonored. Is this a reason to complain? No, Dishonored was fucking great, so what’s the problem? Think of it as a Dishonored game that places zero emphasis on stealth. Seriously, none. I tried to be sneaky, that shit didn’t work. The game feels a little stretched at times, and the enemy’s seem a little overpowered at times, but nothing that bugged me enough to even dent my opinion on this game.  Vigors are essentially plasmids from the original Bioshock, and they work great. It’s nice to have additional powers to play off of, not an original trait, but still very enjoyable. Overall, Infinite is enjoyable from a game play perspective.

So, is this game a 10/10? Fuck no. Ever since IGN released their review for Grand Theft Auto 4 and gave it a 10/10, I have never given any game a perfect score in my book. 10/10 should not be attainable. Does that mean Infinite isn’t a good game? Fuck no! It’s fantastic! Its going to get a 9.3/10, and the only reason it’s not getting a 9.9/10 is because of the minor issues I discussed in Reason Three. So get out there and pick it up you sons of bitches. -Z

OVERALL: 9.3/10

One thought on “Bioshock Infinite Review”

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